Ah, the Diablo IV cow level. The level that Blizzard keeps insisting “doesn’t exist” — kinda like my social life. Well, guess what? The community has dug deep and found it. Yep, it’s real. As real as your regret will be after wasting hours unlocking it.
A Moooo-mentous Discovery
Remember that “Oxen Gods” fountain in Ked Bardu? Yeah, the one that was as relevant as a vegan at a barbecue. Well, it turns out it’s the key to the much-hyped Forlorn Hovel. All you need are three relics that you can find after massacring a few hundred cows. Simple, right?
The Holiest of Relics
Here’s the list of relics and where you’ll find them after your bovine bloodbath:
- Bloody Wooden Shard: Hawezar or Kejhistan
- Musty Tome: Scosglen or Fractured Peaks
- Metallic Fragment: Dry Steppes
- Good luck, because you’re gonna need it.
The Waiting Game
After you’ve collected one relic, you can’t find another one for a whopping 666,666 seconds. That’s right, you’ve got a whole week to ponder your life choices. You can trade relics, but let’s be honest — who’s gonna trade with you?
What Lies in the Forlorn Hovel
So, you’ve got the relics, you’ve got the key, and you’re ready to see what all the fuss is about. Welcome to the Forlorn Hovel, a place filled with… cows. And dead villagers. That’s it. No epic loot, just a stamina potion. Wow, Blizzard, you’ve outdone yourselves.
Conclusion: Was It Worth It?
If your idea of a good time is killing hundreds of cows for a stamina potion, then sure, it’s absolutely worth it. For the rest of us, well, we’re still trying to figure out why we did it. But hey, don’t let us stop you from living your best (cow) life.
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Is there a cow level in Diablo IV?
Yes, despite Blizzard’s insistence to the contrary, there is a cow level known as the Forlorn Hovel. Prepare for disappointment.
How do I unlock the cow level?
You need to gather three relics: the Bloody Wooden Shard, the Musty Tome, and the Metallic Fragment. Each requires you to kill 666 cows. Have fun with that.
Where do I find these relics?
- Bloody Wooden Shard: Hawezar or Kejhistan
- Musty Tome: Scosglen or Fractured Peaks
- Metallic Fragment: Dry Steppes
Can I collect all the relics quickly?
Nope. After collecting one, you can’t find another for 666,666 seconds, or a little over a week. Why? Because life is cruel.
What’s in the Forlorn Hovel?
Cows. Dead villagers. A single stamina potion. It’s the gaming experience you never asked for.
Is the loot worth it?
If by “worth it” you mean a stamina potion and existential regret, then yes, it’s a treasure trove.
Can I trade relics with other players?
You can, but the real question is, who would want to trade these “valuable” relics?
Is the stamina potion special?
As special as a glass of milk. The community is still figuring out its purpose, but don’t hold your breath.
